Beautiful Broken Mess Read online

  With what I hope is a smug grin, I reply, “Yup, and you are beautiful.” I emphasize this statement with a tap on the tip of her fucking adorable nose, while catching a whiff of something that smells like coconut.

  “I don’t like it.”

  “You don’t like that you’re beautiful? Well guess what babe? I don’t like it either.”

  “No, I don’t like you when you’re drunk.”

  “I’ll never do it again.” I lean down to kiss her perfect lips. Emotions that I can’t comprehend are buzzing through me, so I reach out and squeeze her upper arm three short times.

  She pulls back, but I stay there with my lips puckered out, hoping she’ll return. “Promise?”

  “I cross my heart, baby. I just wanted to forget about seeing you with your boyfriend. Shit… I didn’t mean to say that part out loud.” I try to lean back down to kiss her again, but she swiftly unlocks the door and pushes me inside. When she comes around to the driver’s seat and hops in, I realize she’s about to fucking try and drive this car. “Whoa… whoa… Audrey, only three people have ever driven this before. My dad, me, and Jax.”

  “Guess there’s about to be four.” She smiles confidently and lifts her hand to show me four fingers, although I’m seeing about twelve at the moment. I hear her push in the clutch to start the engine. Damn, every time I hear this baby start up, I’m turned on. Add Audrey and I’m seconds away from coming in my pants. I have to have her and it needs to be soon.

  She backs out of the drive, and when she shifts into first gear, I can tell that she feels the power under the hood. She may not understand what it means, but that little smirk tells me she likes controlling it.

  At this point, I’m completely turned toward her, staring as she shifts into second. “Stop making that face,” I say to her, while groaning and readjusting myself.

  Her adorable nose scrunches up in confusion. “What face?”

  Third gear and I’m having a hard time staying in my seat. I can’t distract her from driving, but I’m dying to touch her. In the moonlight and soft glow of the dashboard lights, her skin looks like porcelain.

  “The face with that little smile that says you’re enjoying my car way too fucking much.” Technically it’s not my car, but I’ve put enough sweat and blood into this beast to call her mine. Just then, she turns down a familiar drive. “You’re taking me home?”

  “Yeah, you’re drunk, remember? You need to go sleep it off.” There’s no way in hell I’m going to sleep right now. I direct her to pull over behind some trees. “No, Jace, I remember there being huge bushes over there.” She does it anyway, and just then I hear a loud, scratching sound. She instantly stops, pushes in the e-brake, and turns off the ignition. “Damn it, Jace! See!?”

  I should be angry but I’m not. Hearing that little dirty word come out of her pretty little mouth makes me want to pull her into the backseat. So after I unclick her seatbelt, that’s exactly what I do.

  “You’ll be pissed about that in the morning,” she says. I position her underneath me on the black leather seat, and the way she’s lying over the hump caused by the driveshaft makes her arch up into me. She’s gorgeous, so damn gorgeous.

  “I’ll be more pissed if I didn’t take advantage of this situation.”

  “What exactly is this situation?” she asks breathlessly.

  “Your lips needing mine,” I respond and press my mouth to hers before she can question my words.

  I start slow, wanting to test the waters and needing to know if I still feel that spark that I’ve been craving for the past three years. The second her fingers thread through my hair, I feel it. That undeniable charge that only Audrey has been able to cause.

  It’s like a trigger has gone off and I can’t slow down. I pull her shirt up over her head and she’s already got her hands on the hem of mine. I try to help her out by pulling it over the back of my head, but I’m so wasted that it gets stuck. Her patience wears out so she jerks it all the way off and tosses it aside.

  My hands are everywhere and I still can’t touch enough of her skin. Her hands are like a fire that I can feel through my jeans as she’s unbuttoning them. This is happening. This is finally fucking happening and I can’t get all this damn fabric between us away any faster.

  “Jace…” she moans, and my mouth is instantly back on hers. I plunge my tongue inside and can’t hold in my own groan. I hate that she had to do most of the work because of my fumbling fingers, but I love that there is finally nothing between us. I dip my fingers inside of her and against all odds, I’m even more turned on to find that she’s so ready. I can’t wait to feel all of her. As I stroke in and out, I remember to grab a condom from inside of my wallet. Before I can botch it up, she grabs it from me impatiently and…hot damn, her little hands are rolling it on me. This could get embarrassing if I don’t take back control.

  “Put your hands above your head, babe,” I say in a raspy voice. She immediately complies without question. “Grab the seatbelt.”

  With her big, brown eyes looking up at me, I reach out and loosely wrap the nylon strap twice around each of her petite wrists. “You okay?” I ask, hoping beyond hope that she’s fine with this. Her body language says that she loves it, but I need her confirmation. “You realize that I would never hurt you, right?”

  I suddenly recall that I uttered a similar phrase to her the day we first met, and I groan when I see the gleam in her eye, telling me that she remembers too. “Jace, I trust you.”

  Without missing a beat, I slide into her and pause, needing this moment to grasp a hold of my sanity. Having her body underneath mine is so overwhelming that I can’t seem to remember to breathe. She whimpers below me and tries to move against me. Ah… my girl needs a release already. I pull her legs up over my shoulders, while trying to keep my knee from slipping off the edge. With one leg bent up on the leather seat and the other foot braced on the floorboard, I finally gain the correct leverage.

  Looking down, I’m captivated by the space where we’re connected. Holy Shit. I can’t believe how good she feels and how good we look together.

  “Gorgeous… you’re fucking gorgeous, Audrey,” I ground out like a prayer.

  “Jace, please…” she begs. Before I start moving, I lean down to kiss her again. I can’t stop kissing her.

  “How are your hands, babe?”

  “Jace, please… just please…” she says, almost incoherently. I can’t wait any longer either so I begin to quickly thrust in and out. The backseat of the Camaro provides very little room for my six-foot frame to navigate her body, but I learn to work with what I’ve got. Because what I’ve got under me right now is incredible.

  I spent four months of my senior year lusting after this body. I watched the way she walked, the way her hips swayed, even the way she lounged on the dock out by our pond with Jax. After she disappeared, I spent the last six months of my senior year recalling this figure in my dreams. The curve of her waist, the length of her silky-white legs, and the way her long, brown hair curled up in the humidity.

  My chest squeezes at the idea of getting to know every inch of her body and finding out exactly what she wants. I love that her hands are restrained, allowing me to give her all the pleasure. They’re also not in the way of my mouth as I nip and suck my way across her chest. The farther I push her legs forward, the louder she gets. And the harder I push into her, the tighter she feels.

  “Jace… Jace… Jace… yes, like that…” she chants without shame.

  I need her to let go because I can’t hold off much longer. Drinking tonight was not my best decision, and if I would have known Audrey was going to be grinding underneath me, I wouldn’t have touched the damn stuff.

  I reach up and pull the seatbelt to constrict tighter against her wrists. In the next second, her whole body locks up and I feel her contracting around me as she’s screaming my name. Pleasure shoots through me and I ride out the spasms by kissing her face from ear to ear and down to her neck.

>   “Damn, I needed that,” I say, blowing out a hard, ragged breath. “Thanks, babe.”

  I collapse on top of her and then maneuver her body around so she’s cradled in front of me. I reach up and untangle the belt from her wrists, and she slowly flexes them in a circular motion.

  I pull her in close and bury my face in her hair, memorizing her delicious scent. My lips kiss the back of her neck for as long as I can stay awake. Squeezing her tighter against me, I hold on for dear life so she can’t go anywhere. It doesn’t work though. I wake up the next morning in the backseat of my brother’s car… alone, with only the scent of coconut that lingered on her skin.

  - Four -

  AUDREY - Present day…

  “So how did your first day of graduate school feel?” Lane asks, while wrapping his arm around my shoulders and swinging his backpack up onto his own.

  “Pretty much the same as undergrad, honestly.” Though my reaction might not indicate it, I really am excited to continue my education. I just wish Lane had tried harder to attend a school in San Diego, where we were already living and where Jace doesn’t live. Being in the same city and on the same campus as him feels weird, especially the way things were left between us. However, I know I shouldn’t be picky about where I get accepted into highly prestigious programs. It’s still overwhelming sometimes to think about all I’ve accomplished in the last couple of years.

  “That’s what you get for being so damn smart. Some people just can’t be challenged,” he interrupts my thoughts with his teasing.

  “Look who’s talking, smarty-pants,” I laugh and bump him with my hip. Lane graduated last year with the fourth highest GPA in our class and was only a fraction of a point away from being the second salutatorian. He believes that, just because I graduated within three years instead of the typical four, I’m some kind of genius. Lane was the only reason I was able to accomplish that though. He stayed up to study with me for endless hours on countless nights, and he even helped throughout his winter and summer breaks when I continued taking credits.

  “I still think you should have let me sleep with the Dean. I could have been valedictorian,” he complains.

  “Ew, Lane… I still don’t believe you would have done that. She was like ninety!” I gasp, while he directs me out to his car.

  “She wanted me.” He shrugs his shoulders, as if this is just a simple fact.

  “Most girls do.” And to prove my point, a short little blonde walks by with boobs that I know aren’t real, giving Lane her finest bedroom eyes.

  “Except you, doll, except you,” he teases, while looking over his shoulder at the passerby. “Hang tight, I’ll be right back…” He heads off to catch up with her. Rolling my eyes, I walk toward his black SUV and open the passenger door. I flip through my new textbooks while I wait for the playboy. A few minutes later, Lane’s giant frame rattles the car as he climbs in the driver’s seat.

  “Shit, it’s hot in here. Sorry about that,” he apologizes. I shrug my shoulders because I honestly hadn’t noticed. “Okay, so where were we?” he asks and turns the key in the ignition.

  “Hmm… we were either trying to get our dick wet or talking about how I’m not most girls,” I inform him with a smile.

  “Jealous, doll? Do you want to join Harmony and me later? Can’t say I wouldn’t like having you there, but it might get a bit weird on the friendship, dontcha’ think?” Then the sarcastic ass has the nerve to flash me his dimples.

  “No…” I gasp. “Tell me her name is not really Harmony.” I roll down my window to let some of the cool ocean air in. One thing I’ll never get tired of is the breeze off the coast.

  “It sure the hell is and later we’re gonna… harmonize.” He winks and I can’t hold it in any longer so I burst out laughing. Thank God, Lane doesn’t bring girls back to our apartment. I’m relieved I won’t have to overhear that ‘music’ session. “But that’s cool if you don’t want to join us.”

  “Hey, don’t act like you’re insulted that I’m not one of your groupies,” I add.

  “Well, when we met and the second sentence out of your mouth to me was ‘I’m not sleeping with you,’ I’ll admit I was wounded,” he says, clutching his heart dramatically. “But now I love ya too much, so it’s a good thing I never actually tried to charm you.”

  “Something tells me even that wouldn’t have worked,” I chuckle.

  Just then, I spot Jaxon walking across the parking lot with his arm wrapped around Emerson. I slouch down in my seat, even though they’re too far off in their own world to see me. I’m honestly impressed that those two are still together. I wouldn’t have guessed that Jax had a long-term relationship bone in his body.

  “Ahh… and so it begins. Is that him?” Lane has only ever seen Jace once before, so he doesn’t know how to tell them apart.

  “Nope. It’s Jaxon.” My teeth grind together, because I still have some hostility toward him. “I’m hoping to hide out for the remainder of the year, and then we can hightail it out of California unscathed.”

  “Good luck with that,” he teases and begins to back his car out of the parking spot. My whole body tenses up when I see him jog down the sidewalk to catch up with his brother. My eyes are glued to Jace as he runs past them, smacking Emerson’s ass in the process. She just laughs, but Jaxon takes off after him and wraps his brother in a headlock. I’d forgotten how amusing the twins were together.

  “Stop, Audrey,” Lane says, breaking my trance as he drives off the lot. “Did you ever go check out those bars I told you about?”

  I grin at his not-so-sly subject change. “Yeah, I applied to all of them. I actually got a call back for an interview tonight at the one that’s closest to your gym.”

  “Good, I prefer that one so I can keep an eye on you.”

  “Lane…” I warn, “I don’t need you scaring off every guy I meet.”

  “Pick better guys,” he says simply.

  “You scare them ALL off.”

  The downside of having Lane as your best friend is how intimidating he looks and acts. He may be a whiz with numbers and calculations, but he’s far from being just a number cruncher. He religiously works out at a boxing gym and tries to get in the ring with everyone at least once. We couldn’t even move up here until he found a gym he liked because God forbid there was a small gap in training days.

  A couple minutes later, we pull up in front of our new apartment. The white stucco walls and red tile roof still make me smile; this complex is beautiful and I commend Lane on a great choice. We live on the first floor, which is nice because I can let Chuck out easily and our neighbors don’t have to worry about a seventy-pound dog stomping around above them.

  I walk beside Lane up to our door, but before he can push it open, a red blur comes dashing out and begins circling our legs. I scratch behind Chuck’s ears and ask him about his day.

  Quickly, I run off to the bathroom to shower and get ready for my interview tonight. When I finish, I exit the steam-filled room and walk toward the kitchen in my bra and panties. I had forgotten my clothes were still in the dryer.

  I hear Lane in the kitchen, pulling an assortment of vegetables out of the refrigerator. I swear he eats every thirty minutes. He’s also the health food police. Once, I brought home a package of Oreos and let’s just say… my delicious chocolate cookies went straight into the dumpster. Typically, I don’t mind though. It’s nice to eat healthy meals for a change. When I told him I basically survived off of ramen noodles and peanut butter sandwiches before moving to California, I think he about had a small heart attack.

  He glances at me when I walk into the kitchen and does a double take. I pass right by him and walk into the laundry room to grab my clothes for tonight. With the pile in my arms, I make my way back through the kitchen.

  “Doll, you know I’m not your gay best friend, right?”

  “Lane, I’ve seen you with too many women to ever think that.”

  “Just checking,” he smirks, while blatantl
y checking me out.

  “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” I say and roll my eyes.

  “Doesn’t mean I won’t appreciate the view,” he replies brazenly.

  I stand in the middle of the kitchen and pull on my jeans and a white t-shirt. When I’m fully clothed again, I grin at him and turn to hunt down my own food.

  “You really don’t need to work,” he says, and I know exactly where this is going. “I hate when you work the bar late at night, especially when it’s not necessary. You know I can take care of everything.”

  “Not this discussion again, please. I like working and I like the atmosphere in bars. Usually it’s lively and upbeat, and I need to be around happy. Besides, it’s kind of empowering to cut off the drunks.”

  “Fine, fine...let’s not fight.” He raises his hands in surrender. I walk around the counter and hug him around the waist.

  “You know, for someone who fights as much as you do, you sure are sensitive about arguing,” I say and then add, “which we weren’t, by the way.” We actually never argue. He’s a beast in the ring, but outside of it, he’s probably the calmest person I know. I have no doubt I was meant to have him in my life, especially after the years of violence I endured while growing up. “I’m going to go finish getting ready.”

  He kisses me on the top of my head and says, “I’ll drop you off on my way to the gym.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  “So I’ll just let you get comfortable with the bar. Feel free to look around and start learning where everything is. Our other bartender should be here soon and she can start training you. Meanwhile, let’s head to the back and see if we can find a shirt that will fit you.”

  I haven’t been to many interviews, but I’m pretty sure that was probably the easiest one a person can go to. Ed, the owner and manager, didn’t even ask me for my bartending license or past experience. I don’t know if I should be happy to have such a laid-back boss, or weary that he may be too lackadaisical and thus careless.

  Ed walks me back to what looks like a storage room and tosses me a black shirt. “Bathroom’s down the hall. Change over and come out front,” he says in his retreat.