Beautiful Broken Mess Read online

  “Look at me, gorgeous,” I direct softly.

  Quickly, I stand and wrap my free hand around her head and tilt it up so I can completely surround all of her senses. The second her attention is back on me, I steal her lips with mine. The kiss becomes hungry and needy. I need more of her; I’ve always needed more of her. She quickly falls back into the moment as she grabs onto my shoulders, and it feels so damn good to have her nails in my back and her chest pressed up against mine. Skin-t0-skin is a magical fucking thing. It doesn’t take long to bring her to the brink again.

  In the quiet of the room, she screams, “Jace!” and I feel her clutch my fingers harder and harder as her body crashes back down.

  Through her heavy breathing, I kiss her lips softly. “I’ll let that one slide because how can I resist hearing you scream my name?”

  She lets out a relieved sigh and I can’t hold back any longer. As I step back to rip my boxers off, she hops off the desk. My body naturally follows her path.

  “Damn, I needed that. Thanks babe,” she swiftly offers without any emotion. Then she reaches down, scoops up a shirt off the ground, and throws it over her head. She digs clothes out of her dresser and pulls a brush off of her nightstand, all while I’m standing here shell-shocked.

  What. The. Fuck? Did I just get used?

  My face must convey what I can’t find the words to say because as she reaches for the doorknob, she throws over her shoulder, “That’s what you said.” Then she retreats out into the hallway before I can ask any questions.

  I slump down into the seat and try to replay the reel of what the hell just happened. What did any of that just mean? When realization hits, I smack myself in the forehead. Jace, you stupid idiot. That’s what I said to her after we had sex in my car last winter. How could I have done that to her? I thought I just felt used? What was she feeling when I barely said more than three sentences to her before I pulled her in the backseat and finished with a line like that? Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

  I pull on my shirt and jeans quickly, then shove my feet into my shoes and run out of her bedroom. When I get into the living room, everything is silent. The dog is lounging on the couch, wagging his tail and looking like he’s about to take a mid-morning siesta already. Lane and Audrey are gone. My stomach begins to hurt, and I get a sinking feeling that I just messed up another chance for us.

  - Eight -

  AUDREY -

  As Lane and I leave class and walk to our last one of the day, my feet are dragging and my stomach is rumbling. I’m feeling sluggish and light-headed. I didn’t have time to grab anything to eat this morning on our rush out the door. I barely had time to throw on my clothes while trying to escape Jace. We only have a ten-minute block between the two class periods, and I don’t have enough time to hunt down a vending machine. I still don’t know this campus very well, so I would more than likely end up lost.

  “Lane, do you have any food in your bag?” I moan. He usually always carries some around with him wherever he goes.

  “I ate it all in class, why?” he responds.

  “I’m dragging. I don’t know how I’m going to stay awake in this class.”

  “Well, guess you shouldn’t have been getting another taste,” he teases.

  “There definitely won’t be anymore.”

  “Riiight,” he says sarcastically.

  We walk into our Accounting 582 class, Mergers and Acquisitions, which is bound to bore me to sleep. Unfortunately, a nap is unlikely in this small classroom, where professors are more likely to call me out than they were in the auditorium classrooms I’m used to. Despite this, the smaller rooms for the graduate programs are actually one thing I have learned to enjoy.

  Lane and I have claimed two seats on the far left of the room, somewhat close to the front. By this time, everyone has already chosen the seats they will sit in for the semester, so I’m surprised when I see items that don’t belong to me on my desk. Although there’s no one in the seat, someone clearly left their to-go coffee cup and a bakery bag on my desk. It must be from a previous class. People are so rude sometimes. How hard is it to clean up your own mess?

  When I reach for the trash, I notice that the cup is still warm, too warm to have been sitting here since the previous class. I set it back down and see my name written in black marker on the side in all capital letters. I step away from the desk and point at the cup as if it insulted me.

  “Lane… it has my name on it. What does that mean?”

  He leans over my shoulder and studies the cup for a couple of seconds. I feel him shrug his shoulders and then he says, “Usually that means it’s for you.” I can hear the amusement in his voice.

  I sit down in my seat and study what’s in front of me. Who did this? A quick scan of the classroom proves what I already knew; I don’t know anyone in here. So how could someone have left this for me on my desk?

  “It won’t bite you, just drink it,” Lane whispers from his spot directly behind me.

  I pick it up and recognize the name of the coffee house that’s printed in red ink on the side. I haven’t tried that one out yet, although it’s not far from my house. Hoping for more clues, I spin the cup around and then see extra script on the back.

  I’m so sorry.

  I’ll make it up to you, I swear.

  Please, don’t write me off just yet.

  I already know what the contents of the cup will be before I place it to my lips and swallow the warm, spicy mixture. A chai tea latte. The delicious drink makes me smile and laugh to myself at his gesture. I still don’t have any idea how he knew what class I had today or even that I attend this school, but right now I’m grateful for the gift because this will be my saving grace for the next hour.

  I lift the brown paper bakery bag next and unroll the folded top to peek inside. Lying on top is another note.

  It’s my fault you didn’t get to eat before you left.

  I’ll make that up to you as well.

  Go to dinner with me tonight?

  He wrote down his phone number at the bottom, and looking at the familiar area code, I’m almost certain that this is the same number he had four years ago. I still have that number programmed in my phone from the day he wrote it down on a piece of notebook paper for me. I never had the guts to use it before.

  Lane leans over my shoulder again, examining my goods. “Damn, he could have at least gotten me something. Douchebag.” I elbow him back to his spot so I can enjoy this moment, even though I know he’s just trying to have a good time with me.

  When our instructor enters the room and begins the lecture immediately, I zone out, thinking about Jace. He’s asking for a shot. At least, I think that’s what he’s asking for. Or maybe he’s just curious how the only story he’s ever known could be any different. I would always regret it though if I didn’t hear him out. Before I can change my mind, I pull out my phone and send a text to Jace.

  I have to work tonight - A

  Within seconds, my phone vibrates and his reply is displayed across my screen.

  Sunday for lunch then. Please? I’ll pick you up.

  Sunday lunch? That doesn’t sound like a date time. That sounds like an I’m-curious-about-your-story-but-nothing-else time. Not that I would have been able to do Saturday anyway, because I finally relented to Em’s endless pursuit to go to the beach party tomorrow. Thankfully, Lane is going to tag along with me. I can’t help but wonder if Jace has a date tomorrow night, and that’s why he suggested Sunday. Forget it, Audrey, just get Sunday over with. I quickly text back that I will meet him and then put my phone away for the remainder of the class.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  Tonight is my last night of training with Em. It’s been a lot of fun and this place will be kind of boring on the nights I have to work without her. She definitely keeps it interesting. Since I never really needed any training in the first place, we’ve been able to talk during our shifts, and I’ve slowly been telling her everything. Tonight, I finally just spit it all ou
t. I told her all that’s happened between Jace and me, starting from the moment I met him on the sidewalk in Texas, all the way up to this morning.

  Her silent, stunned face has me cringing, so I turn to put away the last of the glasses. The bar is finally empty and Mark is sweeping under the pool tables, leaving Em and I to get everything squared away for tomorrow’s shift. After minutes pass, I glance back her way and see that she still hasn’t moved from her spot. She’s staring off into space, as if she’s just been given some life-threatening news.

  “All of that could not have happened to one person,” she finally says.

  “I wish I could say I made it up.”

  In a kind-hearted tone, she says, “You weren’t lying when you said you’re a mess.” She pouts her lip out in a sad expression. “But I think you’re just a victim of circumstance.”

  I laugh and reply, “Yeah, the circumstance just so happens to be my life.”

  That makes her laugh and her mood immediately lightens. “Surely you’ve drawn the last chip out of the bad luck jar. I mean, from here on out, I bet your life is gonna be fabulous.”

  I give her a look that clearly says, ‘Yeah, right…’

  Then, her face lights up and she claps her hands. “Jace! Oh my God, this is going to be so much fun! You and Jace!”

  “Umm… I don’t think you heard every roadblock I listed earlier. I wasn’t kidding when I said the fates are not in our favor.”

  She shakes her head back and forth stubbornly, “Nope, this is happening. He sounds CRAZY about you. It all makes so much more sense now!”

  She’s getting way too excited about what will most likely amount to nothing. “What makes sense?” I ask.

  “Wait, what happened last winter when I saw the two of you talking together in the store back in Texas?” she asks, avoiding my question altogether. “He said it was nothing and that you cornered him,” she adds.

  “Really now? I cornered him? Ugh… boys suck.”

  “So that’s not what happened? I just remember that you weren’t happy to see me either.” She sticks out her bottom lip in a fake pout.

  I shake my head back and forth in reply and laugh. “I felt like every time I saw you, Jace had his arm around your shoulders. Of course I wasn’t happy to see you,” I laugh.

  She giggles with me and says, “Okay, that I can understand.”

  “Remember that night I told you about, where we hooked up for the first time in his car?” She nods her head quickly, obviously loving the prospect of hearing some juicy gossip. I smile and continue, “Well, after he said what he did, I couldn’t be there anymore. So once he passed out, I got out of the car and walked back to the hotel Lane and I were staying in.”

  Her mouth gapes open in shock. “Yep, he had the same reaction,” I laugh. “I’ve walked through that town more times than I can count, so it wasn’t a big deal. But when he saw me at the store, he cornered me, demanding to know what happened to me and why I had left. He was spitting-mad to learn that I had walked back. He went over every possible scenario he could think of as to what could have happened to me, but then that was when you came up and ended the conversation. I haven’t talked to him again until we ran into each other last night. After which he snuck into my room, I might add.”

  “Oh, this is so good! He’s totally into you. I do feel really bad for him and the huge mix-up from before. Now I finally understand the comments about how he’s tired of being a twin and people getting them mixed up.”

  “Man, I wish I hadn’t been such an idiot that first day I met them.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself; it’s hard to tell them apart at first. I got them mixed up too,” she says. My head whips around to look at her in shock and she rushes to continue, “No, no. I didn’t accidently sleep with Jace or anything. I just didn’t know Jaxon had a twin brother either. The only way to really tell them apart at first is their...”

  “Voices,” we both say at the same time, giggling.

  She sighs and whispers, “Jaxon’s voice is so...”

  “Irritating. Like nails on a chalkboard,” I interrupt.

  “What?! Girl, you’re insane. That voice takes my panties off before his hands can do the job themselves.”

  I laugh out loud and redirect the conversation. “Anyways, even if by some miracle things did work out with Jace, I don’t think he would ever be able to tell Jax.”

  “Well, he’ll sure have to get over that now, won’t he?”

  I shrug my shoulders noncommittally.

  As we walk toward the back to grab our purses, she says, “Hey, do you want to go with me and Quinn tomorrow to get pedicures?” Before I can turn her down, she says, “Don’t worry about money. Quinn got all these gift certificates from someone she tutors, but they expire tomorrow so we have to use them.”

  “I don’t know. The last time I saw Quinn… I’m pretty sure I heard her call me a she-devil.”

  She laughs out loud and covers her mouth to stifle it, but there’s no holding back her amusement. “I’m sorry,” she says between snorts, “I shouldn’t laugh. That whole time was pretty outrageous. Quinn is loyal to a fault; it’s one of the reasons I love her. And neither of us had ever heard of you until you showed up, so she didn’t know your story either.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense. Doesn’t make it any less nerve-wracking to hang out with her though,” I say.

  “I’ll take care of it all. So be ready, because I’m picking you up tomorrow morning.”

  JACE -

  With a nervousness I’m not accustomed to, I sit on the end of my bed and dial my mom’s phone number. Calling her doesn’t make me nervous, since we usually talk a couple times a week at the very least. It’s what I need to tell her that makes me uneasy.

  After four rings I begin to wonder if she’s home, but then I hear her familiar voice, which always makes me a little homesick.

  “Hello, my favorite son,” she says with her characteristic greeting, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

  “Mom, it doesn’t count if you say that to both of us.”

  “Damn, you caught me,” she jokes. “But seeing as how I haven’t heard from your brother since I left California a few weeks ago, you certainly are my favorite.”

  “Gee, thanks Mom. I win on account of having no life.”

  “Is that why you’re calling me on a Saturday evening?”

  “No… there’s actually a beach party tonight everyone’s going to,” I begin. I know she’s staying quiet so I can tell her what I need to on my own. She’s always had the patience of a saint. “Mom, I wanted to talk to you about Pre-med…”

  “What about it, sweetie?”

  “I dropped it.”

  Without the sound of any surprise in her voice, she asks, “And what are your plans now?”

  In one long breath, I say, “I’ve been double-majoring. Pre-med and Business. But I don’t want to be a doctor, Mom. I thought it sounded cool a long time ago, and Dad acted like it was the greatest thing ever. I tried to like it, I swear, but now it’s my senior year and I’m so tired of doing both. Uncle Logan has been talking to me since last year, trying to convince me to come and take over when he’s ready to retire.”

  “Go on…” she says.

  Damn, she’s more disappointed than I thought she would be. I know they are all excited to have this awesome doctor in the family, but do they not want me to do what I want to do? Especially something like taking over my dad’s business? Well, at least Uncle Logan thinks it’s a respectable idea.

  “I want to do what Dad did. I want to join The Riley Group and keep it in the family. I know you’re disappointed, but… I know it’s what I need to do,” I finish.

  “All I have to say about this matter is…thank God!” she exclaims. “I’m so relieved you finally made this decision.”

  “What?” I reply, shocked.

  “Jace, I never thought you wanted to be a doctor. I was surprised when you applied for the Pre-med program. Of c
ourse, I wasn’t surprised when you got in, but I always thought you were more interested in your Dad’s company than anything else. I remember you asking a million questions a day about his job. Any chance you had to go hang out at his office, you took. I know you’ll do a fantastic job, and I couldn’t be happier for you. I’m sad that you felt like you needed to impress us though. What does Jaxon think about all of this?”

  “Um…”

  “Jace, you haven’t told him?” she assumes loudly and correctly.

  “No. Jax is the worst when it comes to bragging about my major. How can I tell him?”

  “Jace Riley, you need to stop being so concerned about your brother and what he thinks. He loves you and will support you through anything. No matter how distracted he is at the moment.”

  “That’s the other reason why I haven’t told him. He can’t stay out of Em’s mouth long enough to talk to me.”

  “Talk to your brother. Stop making excuses. I love you and you’re doing a great job with school. You should know by now I’ll always support your decisions.”

  “Love you too, Mom.”

  She keeps me on the phone for a while longer, updating me on everything happening back home, and even trying to get me to talk about any girls I’m dating. Nice try, Mom. She eases my fears about telling Jaxon and makes me realize that it really isn’t as big a deal as I’ve been making it out to be.

  When I finally disconnect, I realize that the beach party started an hour ago and I was supposed to be there with Quinn and Em. I rush to get dressed and run out the door.

  I pull up in the parking lot at the same time Jax’s truck is easing into a spot near the front.

  “Dude, you’re just getting here?” Jax calls when I step out of my car.

  He and Cole are freshly showered from practice and looking a little beat. Coach must have run them hard today. He tends to do that at Saturday practices, because he likes to try and wear them out so they won’t go out and party later that night. It usually doesn’t work though.